The Tale of the Bathroom Explosion
by TerraHeartnet
Summary: All seems well in the quaint Hetalia High School. At least it does until one sees the infamous Bad Touch Trio. The live to wreak havoc on the staff and students on a daily basis. What will happen today? No one would ever have guessed!


"-And then he swallows his child whole!" Antonio pulled his arms out in a wide gesture to signify the end of his story, but only one boy of the infamous trio was still paying attention. The tall blonde, to be exact.

He was seated against the wall, technically behind the dark haired and tan skinned Tonio, but they always had their backs to the wall, making them sit side by side. This was all mandatory for their group, just as it was mandatory that they all sat near each other and had all the same core classes. These rules had been causing not only their teachers trouble, but also the counselors, the principals, and the detention staff.

All three boys had a knack for anything that caused mischief. They enjoyed disturbing the status quo in any way possible, and often got caught because of their infamy. Of course, that never bothered the boys. Their parents didn't care as long as the grades stayed up, or, in the case of the currently bored Gilbert, mediocre.

Speaking of the albino kid, he stopped listening to his friend's story long ago. "I'm bored," he exasperated.

Francis, a.k.a. Franny, merely sighed, "You're always bored." He paused for some sort of reaction. Gilbert just kept his head stubbornly on the desk. Sighing again, he looked around the room for something to entertain his long time buddy, "What if we ship an animal to the school?"

"What? Like a dog or something? That's just stupid!" Gil replied indignantly.

"No, something funny…" He leaned forward to whisper his plan. The other two followed knowing the drill well.

After a few moments, Tonio flopped back into his chair, "You can't ship a live walrus through UPS!"

Only, he said it loud enough for the whole classroom to hear. "Excuse me?" The teacher asked, taking her marker from the white board. She had all but given up on the three, but they did not usually interrupt the class at random. "What about UPS?" She worried as she knew they were scheming again.

"Uh, nothing Mrs. H!" he replied, not embarrassed in the least for his little outburst.

"Okay, back to stage one," Francis said after the class continued.

Antonio was next to come up with a plan, "What if we let another horse loose in the school?"

"Because that's why I ended up being kick by a horse! I couldn't come back to school for a week," Gilbert shot down the idea.

"You tried to dry it with sandpaper! That was not my fault!" he shot back.

"I thought it was paper towel! I wanted to dry it off from the rain. I didn't see you being so kind."

"If it looks like sandpaper, if it feels like sandpaper, then it's freaking sandpaper!"

"Guys! Back to the problem!" the french boy tried to calm them down. "What are we going to do now?"

They all sat back to think for a long period of time. They were still stumped when the bell rang. They all trudged to lunch thinking they had lost their touch.

Finally, Gilbert thought of something brilliant. "I've got an awesome idea!" he yelled. "What if we set up a fireworks display in the bathroom tonight? We can set it off while the school is empty!"

"That's…" Francis thought for a moment, "That's actually fantastic! But I haven't seen fireworks in stores for months now."

He held his hands up excitedly, "I swear this will work. I just need a box of matches, baking soda, and some firecrackers."

"Baking soda?" the other two questioned.

"Just trust me! I have firecrackers from last July. Franny, you bring those awesomely huge matches you have. Tonio, can you get some baking soda?"

"Yeah, my grandma just bought more," he replied excitedly.

Surprisingly, they started to believe this plan would actually work. None of them thought about how often their masterpieces went awry. Then again, they never did.

That night, they all met up in back of the school. Almost all the doors had camera's watching them, but these boys had no intention of giving the glory of this ploy to someone else. Tony made quick work of the lock and they crept into the pool room. This was the best place to sneak in because of its close proximity to the stairs. Once in the bathroom, they pulled out their equipment.

"Fran! You were supposed to bring matches!" Gilbert chided.

"What even is that?" Antonio asked, looking at the weird rubber pipe leading away from some sort of machine.

"My dad wouldn't let me taking the matches out," he began, "He says we might burn down the school or something." Turning to the spaniard, he answered, "This creates spark instead of a flames. I've used it plenty of times and should work well enough."

"Fine, if you say so, but it better light these things!" Gil held up his firecrackers. "Now, Tony! Watch the door!"

Using his mild expertise it creating explosions, Gilbert rigged the small display to fly up instead of crackle on the ground.

Once the task was done, Francis went to light them all.

"Wait!" Antonio whispered, "There's a patrol!"

They quickly hid the display and sparker under their duffle bags. They had to find somewhere to hide! It was too late, though.

The teacher pushed open the bathroom door and illuminated their faces. "What are you three up to now?" He sighed.

They considered themselves lucky, it was the vice principal. He had always been extremely lenient on them. "Mr. Stevens! Hey there! We were just taking a break form, um, a late night study group!" Antonio spoke up.

"Not awesome," Gilbert face palmed. He leaned dramatically over to Francis, "Death is our only option!"

"Come with me," Mr. Stevens merely sighed. Thankfully, he had not seen the rig they had set up.

They all moved into Mr. Stevens' lit office on the first floor of the building. "Mrs. Hunt told me about your little outburst and I figured you'd be here tonight. What did you plan now?"

"My lips are sealed!" Gilbert was the first to answer. The others nodded in agreement.

"Fine, then I have no choice but to call the cops."

He turned to use his phone, but was really just trying to get them to own up.

While he did this, they huddled close together. "Where is the spark thingy?" Tonio asked hurriedly.

"Don't worry, I hid it in the bathroom," Francia assured him.

"We need to finish this quickly!" Gilbert pulled their attention.

"I don't think that's an option anymore." Antonio tried to persuade him to drop it.

"Look, either we do this or his entrails get fed to Meer cats!" Gil promised, jabbing his thumb toward Franny.

"Why mine?!"

Suddenly, a huge BOOM was heard throughout the neighborhood. They were completely silent, listening to the rubble fall from the upstairs bathroom. Just outside, a car alarm rang out.

Mr. Stevens became extremely pale before slowly swiveling his head to the students. He typed in the familiar numbers without taking his glare off of the boys.

"Shit!" they swore in unison.

Leaning over a broom, Gilbert spoke, "This place is full of cinder blocks and sadness."

"Hush up and keep cleaning!" Francis hissed. "This was all your idea anyway!"

They had been sentence to over a hundred hours of community service each, starting with fixing the hole they blew into the school. It was surprising that they had not been expelled or thrown in jail. That was all thanks to Mr. Stevens and his volunteering to watch over their work. Part of it was repairing his almost destroyed impala anyway. He would never let anyone he didn't trust touch it.

In the midst of the rubble, Gilbert swept his eyes over the devastated bathroom. He grinned manically, "I'm bored."

"Don't even think about it!" His friends cursed, blood vessels ready to pop.


End file.
